What is your breaking point?  I think I might have found mine today.

I have a full time career outside of the home.  I absolutely love my job and the people I engage with on a daily basis.  I started working full-time on July 6, 1998.  I figured that to be roughly 850+/- weeks of work.  Wow.  That’s a lot.

I have worked about 520 weeks as a Mom.  Just typing that and then reading it out loud kind of makes my head want to explode.

I took a week vacation last week from work, so coming back this week it is always a little crazy playing catch-up.  I had a parent-teacher conference scheduled so I had to leave the office a little early today.  Pulling out of the parking deck the car in front of me was going slow and probably cost me about 10 seconds of time.  I was cursing her under my breath, get out of my way.  I turned left onto Wilmington Street and got in the right lane.  The light had just turned red.  Are you kidding me!!!!  That slow car in the parking deck made me miss the light.  I’m in the right lane to turn onto Morgan Street.  There was a truck straddling the middle lane and the right turn lane.  So I couldn’t get around him.  What is with people who can’t drive??  I had a busy day and no time for all this nonsense I seemed to keep encountering.

I flew over Blount Street with a green light and as I was on the curve approaching Person Street it happened.  A crash right before my eyes.  A mere 10 seconds ahead of me.  A shiny dark gray Mercedes was spinning one way and a black Ford Focus spun the other way landing right into the steel pole holding the traffic light up.  I did not see the crash actually happen, just the cars spinning in the aftermath.  I was about 6 cars back and by the time I crept up to the crash I could tell the drivers were ok.  Thank you, Lord!

So that slow car in the parking deck and the truck in both lanes, I guess I need to thank you.  God had put them there for a reason.  However, at the time I was still wound up and didn’t recognize that.

I got to the conference and talked about my child and his year.  I am constantly seeing people post on Facebook (which you know I love) about how smart their kid is!  I read things about their kid being so smart that school is no longer a challenge and I hear people talking about how the teacher says that kid could teach the class.  Well, I’ll be honest, I’m happy for your kid (sort of.)  I guarantee if that was the case with my kids I would have it blasted all over Facebook too and have a car filled with bumper stickers.

I have been struggling lately with my kids and their academics.  However, if you know their dad and his attention span….   Just kidding, no, not really!

My kids are not those super smart kids.  Now, don’t get me wrong, they are smart, but give about 0% effort for the most part when it comes to school.  And to be completely fair, just 1 of my kids gives 0% effort.  The other one works pretty daggone hard.  As I was talking to my mom on the phone tonight telling her about the conference she almost yelled, “Welcome to my world!  You and your brother didn’t give a s#%t about education!”  Yep, she cussed at me.  And I called her out in my blog!

That was an “ah-ha” moment for me with parenting.  What goes around comes around sometimes ten-fold.  I’m burning the candle at both ends.  Tonight one kid had soccer, another kid had church and we had a parent social for school.  I was determined to figure out a way to get it all done.  When I walked in the door from work, I looked around my house.  It looked horrific, dishes piled higher than the sink, the empty crockpot sat on our counter that was supposed to be holding our dinner for tonight and my house smelled like a dirty dog kennel and pre-teen butt.  It took all I had to not burst into tears in front of the babysitter.

As I walked to the next room it became clear one of the dogs had some books for a snack.  Again.  And by the time I got to the bedrooms it appeared as if a bomb had gone off and no one survived.  Toys, clothes, towels and bedsheets littered the floor. Did we quit making our beds and quit using the laundry baskets?  The bathroom floor in the boys bath looked as if it could crash into the crawl space at any given moment.

Still in my dress I tackled the first pile of laundry as a tear slid done my face.  I could’t do it anymore.  I was exhausted.  I wanted to go to sleep.  It was 5:02pm.  I could hear the iPad dinging with some game with the kid who was here (the other was a soccer thanks to our awesome sitter who drives!)

I asked him if his home work was done and to get off the iPad and read a book.  I know I didn’t say it that nicely, however.  I got the load of laundry going and when I came back through the family room and heard that iPad ding that was it.  My breaking point.  Nice Mommy was gone.

Get off your butt and help around here!  Am I the only one who can see and smell?  I might have to move if it doesn’t get better.  He got the dishwasher unloaded while I decided it was a good time to declutter the cup and glass cabinet!  Look out, I’m throwing crap away!

As I’m pulling cups out of the cabinet it hit me, literally, a cup fell out and hit me in the head.  I’ve not opened my Bible in more than a week.  Sure, I’ve touched it, picked it up, put it back down, but I’ve not opened it to see those words that I so desperately needed today.  I also realized I had not written in my prayer journal in over a week.

The Holy Spirit sometimes has to smack you in the face with a cup.  I needed a good smack in the face today too.  Bible is open and words are in the prayer journal.  God has promised he will be faithful to us.  Why do I have such a hard time being faithful back?  Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”

I cried today and I’m sorry I made my kid cry.  I am thankful I know Jesus and the joy he brings to our lives.  I was not living a Godly example for my child today and for that I pray I am forgiven.  We did miss church tonight and we did miss the parent social.  But that’s ok.  We need to remember what our true purpose is here on earth.  Psalm 89:1 tells it well “I will sing about the Lord’s faithful love forever; I will proclaim Your faithfulness to all generations with my mouth.”

P.S.  Because there is always more to our story… If you drove by tonight our dog did NOT get hit by a car.  She got hit by the golf cart and all is well now!  Always adds to the excitement on our corner when we lay in the front yard.