We have found ourselves in a canceled, postponed, nope it’s not happening, can’t hug or even see our friends or family world. The school has gone 100% online for one of my kids and I must say, it has been quite an awesome experience.

There is not a roll of toilet paper to be found. Anywhere. Milk, eggs and other essentials are becoming a rare find as well.

My mental health? Well, it’s the first time in my entire life, I am feeling out of sorts. I cry every day. Sometimes more than once a day.  My head hurts, a lot, most of the time. I don’t think it is directly related to COVID-19, but directly related to stress.  Will I have enough resources to protect my family in the coming days, weeks and maybe months?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

I miss my friends. I miss my church. I miss my busy life. I know, I know, we all need a bit of this forced downtime. But when you have been wired for years upon years to fill up those calendars and fill every waking moment with some type of activity, this is a hard new normal to understand and to implement.

This morning my husband woke all of us up from our cozy slumber at 8:15 AM and had us gather around the kitchen table to worship together as a family. He had cinnamon rolls in the oven and the coffee was hot and fresh. Our church, Bethlehem Baptist, in Knightdale, NC quickly adapted and moved all services online. It is refreshing to see and hear our pastor’s voice. Although we were not in the pews, we worshiped as a family alongside many of our friends and neighbors.

I like my busy life. I love all the activities we cart our kids to and from all the time. I love the hectic schedules I create. And I love all the travel I do for work. I miss it all.

I am often reminded of 9/11 and how our world came to a stop. I happened to live in California at the time but had made a long-weekend to come home to Indiana to see Jimmy Buffett in concert on September 11, 2001. I got stuck in Indiana for over a week before I could get back home to San Francisco. I recall spending time with my family. I rode with my brother in the combine, wearing flip-flops (and will never live that down). I had only come to town for a short time and did not pack appropriate footwear for multiple events. I remember painting my Pap and Nana’s sunroom a bright, cheery yellow. Only to find out shortly after my Pap, was sick and would be in heaven only 7 months later. I loved that extra, unplanned time I got with all of them.

So, now in March 2020, in the midst of the coronavirus, we are navigating our new normal. Our family is hunkered down at home, together. The boys fight constantly. Hopefully, it is a sign they care for each other?

I am in my final six weeks of graduate school. I will graduate, virtually, in May with a Masters in Strategic Communication from Purdue University. The uncertainty ahead is so unsettling. I am sad I will not get to celebrate in person with my dear friends Mike, Claire, Ali or Priya in May.

Our spring break to Florida has been canceled. I will miss our Fiddler’s Green family. Pat, Dave, Denny, Chris, Hugo, Margot, Hilde, Edie, and my parents to name a few, have given us loads of memories over the years and we can’t wait to see you later!

I have not worn make-up in days. I did wash my hair today and thankful for the recent haircut. This is my tribe of people. I love them dearly.

“And the peace of GOD, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7